Teen Wolf Season 3 Promo Roundup: It Hurts. Bad.

In case you hadn’t heard, season three of Teen Wolf starts in basically a week. Monday, June 3 at 10pm EST. *cue dramatic music and wolf howls*

I woke up at 5:30am yesterday morning  in a complete and utter panic over the idea of writing this post. I don’t do well with promo, no matter what the event or fandom. I hate it. I hate trying to keep up with everything, I hate worrying about missing something, and I really hate speculation. So in an attempt to face the Teen Wolf promo beast head on and with my fangs out, I’m going to try and recap what’s been posted by the official Teen Wolf folks so far. It’s going to hurt. A lot.

Take a deep breath, maybe a shot of whiskey, and join me after the cut. Spoilers ahoy!

*cowers*

*cowers*

 

So the first real promo we got was aired during the MTV movie awards and consisted of Scott drowning himself and a wolf snarling. I can’t even stress to you how excited I am that there are real wolves being used this season, even if it’s just for promo. I need Derek’s alpha form to be an actual wolf like I need air to breathe. But I digress.

What can we take away from this little teaser? Is Scott drowning his old self? Teen Wolf has a history of using water as a metaphor for rebirth and I think that’s exactly what’s happening here. And maybe the wolf represents Scott either at odds with or coming to terms with his werewolfiness? Either way, I dig it. I can’t wait to see a darker, stronger side of Scott, especially if he fully embraces his wolf. Rawr.

Posey recording his growls. *twitches*

Posey recording his growls. *twitches*

Some official stills were posted of the new wolves in town along with some of the regular cast members. Isaac is lookin’ hot this season and I am super stoked about him becoming a regular. For more info on the new cast members, check out this really thorough breakdown. Warning for super duper, extreme spoilers so click at your own risk.

This little tidbit from the script might have been what officially sent me over the edge like a lemming on a bad acid trip. Are they implying that a) members of the alpha pack knew Derek’s mom, b) that Derek looks like his mom, and c) that this was said in front of Derek? MAN DOWN. The thing that I will not be able to handle this season is sad!Derek. And I have a feeling that there will be lots and lots of sad!Derek. Safeword.

(Or, OH GOD, what if they’re talking about Stiles’ mom? I mean, I can’t imagine a scenario outside of fic where that would be true but STILL. *curls up in the fetal position*)

 

I'm with wolf!Derek on this one. *buries head in sand*

I’m with wolf!Derek on this one. *buries head in sand*

Okay. So next up we have a series of really short teaser vids that basically revolve around people screaming, eyeballs, and that weird black stuff that leaks out of Teen Wolf supernatural creatures when they’re poisoned. We get it. It hurts. Message received loud and clear.

Eye color is apparently going to be A Thing this season, which is exciting. I’m looking forward to learning more about Jeff Davis’ werewolf canon. The legend and lore and mythology is really fascinating and it sounds like we’re going to get a lot of it in season three. In the promos, we’ve seen red, gold, and blue eyes along with completely black eyes. I wonder if the black eyes have anything to do with demons and being possessed? Or have I just been reading too much fic? It’s been a long nine months and the lines started to blur right around the time I slipped down a werewolf mpreg rabbit hole and never came back up.

Oh, and we also got the obligatory eleven second teaser of someone creepy standing in the boy’s locker room. Wouldn’t be Teen Wolf without it.

Let’s take a break and bask in the warmth that is Tyler Posey talking about the upcoming season, shall we? Also, bonus ass shaking:

I really cannot with him.

I really cannot with him.

And now we’re gonna talk about Derek’s bed. That’s right, people. Derek got a bed! Can I get a round of applause, please? *slow clap* He also got a blue velvet sofa and a pretty bitchin’ alarm system. Apparently it’s completely useless because random evil things still invite themselves in and stab him through the gut with metal pipes but the point is, Derek has an actual living space that most likely has running water and doesn’t smell like the charred flesh of his entire family! Movin’ on up, Der-bear.

That bed looks like something straight out of a porno.

That bed looks like something straight out of a porno.

Alright, folks. You ready for the full, official trailer now? hahahahahahahaha Of course you aren’t. But too bad because here it is anyway:

Whose hand is that on Derek’s shoulder? (I’m hoping it’s Laura, back from the dead.)

Who’s that girl Stiles is kissing? (It’s definitely not me and I am sad about that.)

Is Alison going to kiss Isaac or stab him? (Both? Neither? Threesome?)

Is Deucalion blind? What’s with the glasses and the weird eyes? (I hope there are SO many bad “nice to smell you” jokes if he really is blind.)

Derek is not going to kill Boyd. Nope. Not gonna happen.

Stiles is gettin’ real tired of your shit, teen wolfs.

Is Derek auditioning for Titanic: Werewolf Edition with that bloody handprint on the car window?

I will never be okay with Derek getting gutted by that fucking pipe. Someone bring me froyo to cry into.

If Scott doesn’t yell “Who’s the alpha now, BITCH?” I’m flouncing everything.

So that’s it. That’s the post. It’s going to hurt. A lot. But I have three things to offer that might bring you some comfort:

1. The Teen Wolf folks know exactly what they’re doing to us with these promos. Everything has been edited and cut together for maximum dramatic effect and it’s entirely possible that most of the footage has been taken entirely out of context. If you go back and watch season two and think about all the things that they could throw into a promo clip that would TOTALLY freak people out, you’ll see what I’m getting at. I think it’s important to go into the new season with an open mind and a “just roll with it” attitude. Granted, this is easier said than done and I will still probably stroke out before June 3 even gets here, but it’s good to have goals.

2. We’re going to fix it! If you haven’t already signed up for our fix-it ficlet challenge, please do! Every week we’re asking you to fix something that hurt in that week’s episode and everyone who fics all 24 weeks of season three will get a super awesome amazing prize! It’s gonna be a blast.

3. All the promo we’ve seen so far has only been for the first twelve episodes. Let’s just assume that the last twelve episodes of the season (which haven’t even been filmed yet) are all sunshine and rainbows and wolf kisses, okay?

And here’s a bonus happy: A brand new interview with Dylan! Nothing really Teen Wolf related in it, but he does talk about The Internship, Maze Runner and whether or not he’ll be at Comic Con this year. Plus, hands. *drools*

*weeps*

*weeps*


So what do you think? Are you currently under your desk at work, writhing in pain? Nope? Just me? Let’s set up a blanket fort in the comments and talk about what we’re all expecting/scared shitless about from season three!

P.S. Last minute bonus picture of Colton and Hoechlin soaking wet in New York City. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I HATE THIS FANDOM SO MUCH! :D

HAHAHAHAHA WET NOPE.jpg

HAHAHAHAHA WET NOPE.jpg

Meg Keysmash

Historian with lots of useless knowledge about mules and pirates. Professional beast wrangler and full-time crazy cat lady with a sheep who walks on a leash. It’s often hard to tell whether or not she's speaking in euphemisms. Her gdocs is a vast wasteland of incomplete stories about dragons and teen wolves. She has a difficult time finishing anyth-oh! Posey is on Twitter!