Five Things: What I Constantly Feel Guilty About

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Every Friday we’ll pick a theme and then five things (hence the name! We’re so original!!!!!) that fit that theme. Feel free to make your own choices in the comments, or send them to us on Twitter. This week I’m flying solo, discussing all the things I’ve been feeling guilty about lately.

Liz’s pick: Overeating (via)

If you’ve been keeping up with me via Twitter or this blog, you know that I had been making some lifestyle changes to get healthier. Well, in the last few months I’ve fallen right off the wagon. I’ve reverted back to my old habits, including overeating. The problem with my brain (and a lot of other brains, I know; we are not alone) is that once I start making bad decisions I can’t seem to stop. It triggers that spiral: make a bad decision, feel bad about it, self-medicate with another bad decision … that cycle! Why is it so intoxicating?

Liz’s pick: Not writing (via)

The amount of words I’ve written in the past few years is shameful (in my opinion). I’m down to posting like one fic a year. At the end of 2016 I told myself I was going to post a fic a month in 2017, whether they were long or short or just for me or based on prompts, just to post something. It’s June. I’ve posted one fic. *facepalm* I scribble some words in a notebook now and then, when I get that itch, but I haven’t been able to finish anything, or really devote any time to really writing, in so long. I’m not myself when I’m not writing, y’all.

I cannot possibly convey the amount of guilt I feel for neglecting this site. It has meant so much to me since we started it, it has given me such great opportunities, and I haven’t put nearly the amount of effort into it as I should be. As I want to be. I struggle with what to write, with how to make it the community it was in the beginning, that we still want it to be. Posting just for the sake of posting doesn’t work for me, but creating quality content doesn’t seem to be either. I really need to clear some headspace to devote to figuring this out, because I don’t want to let the site languish at all. (Thank goodness Mel joined up and refuses to let it die! Heh.)

Liz’s pick: Inactivity (via)

I have been so lazy lately. I had the flu earlier this year and haven’t gone back to running since then. I think every day about how I should throw on a workout DVD or do some yoga and then I … don’t. Instead I come home from work (where I sit down all day) and get into bed to read and basically never get back up. It’s not good. I was in fairly good shape last summer (at least better than I’d been in a while) and I could tell how much more I enjoyed the season because of it. I don’t want to feel gross all this summer. Re-downloading the Couch to 5K app would probably be a good place to start. Maybe I’ll do that. Tomorrow.

Liz’s pick: Bad housekeeping (via)

Okay, so my house never looks like this one. But I definitely let it get pretty bad, when it wouldn’t take much effort to keep it tidy. I don’t have a lot of space, so why can’t I push a broom around for a few minutes every week? Why can’t I wash dishes as I use them? WHY IS ADULTING SO MUCH WORK. I just did a deep clean of my place, and I feel so good being in it. Why can’t I remember this feeling when the clutter starts piling up? Ugh.

Liz Keysmash
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Liz Keysmash

Liz has a ginger kitty named Thackery Binx who chirps like a bird and plays fetch like a dog. She reads a lot of slash, and writes a bit as well. She thinks she’s a good cook, she brews beer, she's a total nerd about baseball, she reads YA fiction, she has recently rediscovered her love of pop music, she swears like a sailor.
Liz Keysmash
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  • Mel keysmash

    Put me down in the Cleaning one. I’m terrible at it. I’d just rather read a book or not clean? Another thing I feel guitly about is the amount of nail polish I’ve bought in the last 3 months. Between the stress and Sephora clearing out my favorite brand I’ve been able to justify the cost. Ish. Bah!

  • leckadams

    I’m so glad that Mel came along and helped keep this around. I wish you didn’t feel guilty about it. Cause I really love the blog.

    For me I can join in on the overeating. I also feel guilty about my attitude towards some of my pts sometimes. And I feel like some I can’t do enough, but others I just can’t seem to get out soon enough.

    I also feel guilty about G being home w/ not lots to do, but there isn’t anything I can do about that one.

  • Oh my god EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE. Every last one. Which is not surprising because we do tend to spiral together every once in a while. I think it’s easy to get wrapped up in all that we *don’t* get done that we forget about all the amazing shit we accomplish on a daily basis. Work, family, other relationships, keeping pets alive, etc., etc. I am constantly impressed by the amount of work you get done, between your “real” jobs and writing. Your organizational skills and your ability to plan (and stick to your plan) are always inspiring. I know it’s been a rough couple of weeks but don’t discount the fact that you’ve been getting up and living your life despite a wonky body and brain. That’s no small feat! (Now I wish you were here so we could go out for a big, gross breakfast and then come home and lay around all day. WHAT.)